Los Angeles SEO Web Writer: Find the Cheapest Gas Prices in My Area

Gas prices are going up as I type. Apparently those multi-billion dollar tax breaks given to Exxon and other oil corporations to find “alternative sources of energy” haven’t quite panned out like President Bush promised they would. Even the U.S. military in Iraq is paying sky high prices!

For those of us back here in the states, here is a great online web site to find the cheapest gas prices in your area.

Just go to GasPriceWatch.com, enter your zip code and it gives you the addresses and maps of the cheapest gas in your area.

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Los Angeles SEO Web Writer: Check Your Doctor’s Background

Getting information about a doctor’s past can be far more difficult than running a criminal check on the average person, this is because medical boards (which are run by doctors) have traditionally tried to keep this info top secret.

But doesn’t the public have a right to know if a doctor has been formally accused of a wrongdoing or has been disciplined? Fortunately, the state of California has a web site mbc.ca.gov where you can check your doctor’s background. But what if you live outside California? Don’t worry, there are sites for you!

If you live outside of California, try DocFinder Searches which lists (and links) states that have doctor information available to the public for free. Or you can pay $9.95 to get any doctor’s background anywhere, just go to docinfo.org.

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Los Angeles Copywriter: Free U.S. Postage and Other Freebies!

“They say there’s no such thing as a free meal, but fortunately that just isn’t true, you just gotta know where to look!” That’s what I wrote awhile back in an article called The Freeloader’s Guide to the Galaxy. For those of you who missed it (most of the planet), here are some of those strange-but-true freebies!

Free Postage! Did you know blind people get free postage? Instead of sticking a stamp in the top left hand corner of the envelope these crafty sightless folks write, “Free Matter For the Blind or Handicapped.” Is this wrong for you to try? Heck, you may be “legally blind” and not even know it. Don’t throw away your rights!

Free Sterilization! It’s a known fact: Kids cause more financial and psychological damage than drugs. You can quit heroin, but a child is habit you’ll have for at least 18 years! Guys, a great way to sterilize yourself is to stand with your groin area very close to the microwave while it’s on and emitting small doses of radiation. Radiation = sterile!

Free Parking! All you have to do is get handicapped license plates. It’s easier than you think, especially in states like Wisconsin where the only requirement is “not being able to walk 200 feet or more without stopping to rest.” Just get some doctor to sign off on it (be sure to limp into his office) and you are set for life, parking like the big boss in the best space every time!

Free Tipping! Have you ever heard of “second-generation tipping?” It’s a wonderful money saver when you go out to eat. Simply take a tip off a nearby table and place it on yours. Your waiter gets a good tip, you get good service, everybody wins! If you feel especially generous, take 2 or 3 tips off other tables. Hey big spender!

Free Money for Being Impotent! Women have been paid to have sex for centuries, but did you know that men can be paid for not having sex? Centerwatch.com is a nationwide online listing of clinical medical trials. You can earn money for a variety of illnesses such as gout, IBS, depression, hair loss, diabetes, impotence and much more!

(Disclaimer: Warning, the above post contains comedy and satire and is not meant to be taken seriously, except by those who may be infuriated by its contents.)

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Los Angeles Copywriter: How to Sell Your TV Show Idea

A few years ago I wrote a series of columns for AbsoluteWrite.com about How to Write for TV and How to Sell Your TV Show. I still get e-mail, questions and even some job offers from those articles. To my great shock, the articles rank on the first page of Google on a search for “How to Sell Your Show.”

I think the articles still hold up today, but if I were to change anything it’s how the web has altered the landscape. The field is wide open. If you can put some video shorts on YouTube (and other video sites) and get a lot of traffic, you could sell a TV idea that way too. Agents are always searching the web.

Some TV show pitches have been made into webisodes, such as “The Jeannie Tate Show,” which features a highly-annoying, funny soccer mom doing a talk show from inside her minivan. This web show stars Liz Cackowsk who performed with the famed Second City troupe and wrote for Saturday Night Live.

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Los Angeles Copywriter: How to Beat a Traffic Ticket Legally

Traffic tickets are big business these days, so says the National Motorists Association. Many cities that have mismanaged their budgets and are using traffic laws and extreme fines to gouge their citizens. How sad the laws meant to keep us safe are now being used as a shakedown by City Hall. Case in point, a tiny town in Georgia that took in over half a million dollars in traffic tickets.

If you are ticketed and believe the violation or fine to be unfair, there is a way to beat a traffic ticket legally. This maneuver was actually taught to me by a judge who I was sitting next to during an airplane flight. He said to do what inmates on death row do… delay, delay, delay.

When you first get the ticket, see a judge and ask for a delay to pay your ticket (also known as bail). Then ask for another, then another. When you finally have to pay the bail, ask for a delay in the trial date. Then come back and ask for another and another delay. I have been able to delay my traffic trials for 9 to 10 months.

Why is that so important? Because in that long period of time, the police officer who pulled you over will probably not show up for the trial because he or she was transferred to another precinct, is on vacation, working new hours that do not allow an appearance in court or may have quit.

If the police officer doesn’t show up for your traffic court trial, then the case must be dismissed by the judge. Why? Because we all have the right to question our accuser in court, but if the accuser (the police officer) fails to show, the case is dismissed.

Please note that I am not a lawyer and suggest everyone seek help from a legal professional before going to court. I do not advocate getting out of tickets such as a DWI. Drunk drivers are dangerous.

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Los Angeles Copywriter: “Evil” Free Health Care and Prescriptions

Our caring leaders in Washington D.C. tell us that universal health care is “bad medicine” (even though they have universal care). If that’s not enough to “scare” you, trusted health insurance companies also tell us how “dangerous” universal care is! So read the following links at your own risk!

NeedyMeds.com is a great web site that provides information for free prescription medication programs, including state programs.

Also try Partnership for Prescription Assistance and Ed Hayes’ list of indigent prescription programs.

For free health care try the National Free Clinic Directory and Unite for Sight’s nationwide list of free clinics. Also, contact your state medical board, some private doctors provide free health care.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible if you become well, are able to see a doctor for free, do not go broke from medical bills, receive free prescriptions, or become a supporter of universal health care.

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Los Angeles Web Content Writer: A Web Site That’s Actually Useful

One of my favorite web sites is Bugmenot.com which provides passwords to bypass compulsory registration, say if you wanted to read the New York Times. Now, they have expanded their evil brilliance, muhahaha:

PDFMeNot for viewing PDF files without having to download and open, thank you!

Email.BugMeNot when you’re required to provide an email address, just use this site instead, sweet!

Need a coupon code for a free site pass or another online goodie? Try Retailmenot.

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Los Angeles Web Content Writer: UTA Job List and Hollywood Jobs

When people find out I live in Los Angeles and have written for 5 TV shows, they often ask me how to get a job in Hollywood.

There are web sites like Entertainment Careers, Showbiz Jobs and Myracleworks, but the most sought-after resource is the UTA Job List which was created by an agent’s assistant several years ago at the United Talent Agency.

It is passed to subscribers via e-mail and you had to know someone to get it… until now. I recently ran across a web site called “I Hate My Life” where the web master says:

“There is also an underground show biz job listing called the UTA list. If you e-mail me at Thanksforsavingmyass@Yahoo.com I’ll send it to you at no charge.“

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Los Angeles Web Content Writer: Free Real Crime Scene Videos

These days YouTube is being used for crime-fighting by regular folks; well, they’re not that regular, check out these:

Brian Bates, aka the Video Vigilante, confronts prostitutes and their “Johns.” In this video, he catches a Lowe’s Delivery Man with a prostitute in a Lowe’s truck!

The Lake Street Look Out videos street violence in Chicago’s nightclub district on, where else, but Lake Street! Here is a brawl outside the Chromium Nightclub in the Windy City.

Jimmy Justice is a guy in New York City who tapes the police breaking traffic and parking laws, you know, everything they ticket citizens for doing.

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Los Angeles Web Content Writer: Blackjack Strategy With Dealer

Card counting is as American as Momma and apple pie. Yet, sadly this is one of those “life skills” our dear parents forgot to teach us when we were kids. Fortunately, Wired Magazine recently shared this parental wisdom:

Quickly locate the dealer’s shoe, the device in the table that holds the dealer’s cards. a dealer’s shoe typically holds six full decks.

Every time a card hits the table, you need to assign it a point.

• 10’s, Jacks, Queens, Kings = -1

• 2 through 6 = +1

• 7 through 9 = 0

Divide your count by the estimated number of decks left in the dealer’s shoe. You have to estimate because he or she isn’t going to tell you. Estimate how many decks have been used by looking at the discard stack. So if there are 2 discarded decks, the dealer has 4 decks left.

Let’s say you have the following hand: 3, 4, 6.

Each of those cards are between 2 and 6, so each would be assigned one point, giving you a total of 3 points.

You look at the discard pile, there is none, so the dealer has just started a new deck, so that means there are probably 6 decks left.

6 (decks) divided by 3 (points) = 2.

Anytime you get a 2 or higher as the final number, bet big!

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